Where is the time?
As a child, time seemed to go so slowly, primary school seemed to last forever and summer holidays were bathed in hours spent in a playing field or lying in the grass staring up at white fluffy clouds, watching old black and white films on TV, having water fights or being out on my bike!
In my twenties, even when I was working, I seemed to have days that went on for ages, lying about, trying to decide if I should wash up, watch the tele, go out or get out of bed!!
As a 45 year old working mother of 2, I seem to roll from day to day with my week day routine being to get up, make lunches, rush to leave the house to drop at least 1 child off and go to work – obviously I’m very busy and very important at work!! Lunch time I am normally food shopping for the bits I need to stock up or if I’m lucky enough, stretch my legs.
At the end of the day I run out of the door – usually late to pick at least 1 child up, I get home, unpack the shopping and get dinner on (I may have to wash up first depending on last night or if anyone else has done it in the mean time).
I like cooking – most of the time – and feel a certain pleasure in providing – hopefully tasty – nutritional food. Dinner is served (at the table as I believe in family time together at least once a day) and demolished shortly after, with washing up to follow – after the usual discussion from the kids over who doesn’t want to do it! (to be fair, we all take turns at this task but the ‘discussion’ can be amusing or annoying depending on how I’m feeling!).
After dinner is the homework/reading phase of the day while I’m tidying, taking stuff to the kids respective bedrooms, do any banking or paper work that has been avoided for the last week or two and catching up with what ever child I have not had a conversation with yet that day. After that (and if the ironing mountain is not bothering me too much) I may sit down, have a tinker on fb, watch TV, chat to my partner or the kids if they decide to honour me with their presence.
The weekend routine consists of a hopeful lie in, get up, stagger into the kitchen looking like a wild thing with my hair going in all directions, to put the kettle on for a coffee.
After my first sips I am generally able to converse with the world and think about breakfast for everyone. I like to do a nice breakfast on a Saturday if we don’t have anywhere to go. Once demolished and the washing up is completed, we allget dressed and start on homework, while I hover to provide any assistance that maybe required while starting some cleaning or ironing.
This is generally how the rest of the day continues with washing and more cleaning and hopefully meeting up with friends later for a walk and a catch up while the kids play together. This may sound like a mad scramble of daily activities and it basically is!
Welcome to my head and world!!
I was talking to my partner a few months ago about hobbies. I don’t really have any it seems and being a mum is really more than a hobby!! I like to keep fit and healthy (when I’m not breaking the sin of gluttony) but don’t go to a gym or exercise classes, I read from time to time but that’s just about it.
My other half has quite a few interests and hobbies that include, golf, tinkering around with and has built/restored some cars, astronomy, keeping fit/running and most recently a space Xbox game. He doesn’t do these all at the same time but when he does engage with one of his hobbies he gets engrossed into them. I am really glad that he has interests and I can see the pleasure he gets from them but it has been making me think about having an interest or hobby, something I can enjoy doing for me.
Do I have time? Can I find the time? What do I want to do?
Earlier in this year I found myself going through a hard time in my personal and working life, it knocked me around for a good few months and I won’t lie that looking back it affected me more than I care to admit, but I won’t go into that now
I started to re-evaluate the meaning of me! Since the kids came along I, like most mums out there put myself down the pecking order of attention.
So the order currently stands at
4. The house
5. The cat
6. Other family
I’m sure this pecking order is not unusual for a mum in any family and I’m not sure it’s going to change anytime soon.
But I’m asking myself what do I want out of my future? Time for me? head space to think?
An interest that I enjoy and don’t do for someone else might be nice.
I have been putting some thought into this for a few months, trying to think outside of my usually small and shallow box and have come up with the following:
I like singing, I sing with the children, I sing in the shower and car and was in the choir at school!! (Ahhhh, good memories)
I found a Rock Choir and went along for a taster session. This was quite fun, they sing modern songs and harmonise across the group. I enjoyed this but to be honest I am not sure about the weekly commitment and then performances too, so I did not join, but maybe in the future.
I have always wondered if I could be any good at drawing of painting and like the Highland cow paintings that seem to be popping up at the moment.
I found some interesting Google images and bought some cheap canvases and paints and had a go! I am very proud of my effort and plan to have a go at a giraffe soon!
Since my dad passed away a few years ago I went through a phase of wanting to write a book (fiction story) but that never went any further than the first 3 chapters. More recently I now have my blog and anyone who cares to join me on my journey!
I feel like I have been through a defining event in my life that has made me stop and re-prioritise what I want but I haven’t made very many changes other than to the way I think! But is that enough?
It will have to be for now….but…..as the kids grow older and more independent I promise myself to think of me a bit more often!
Starting with a Spa day booked for later this month!